Season 1 (2010)

Moving Out
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January 31, 2010 • 1m

I get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.

Moving Day
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January 31, 2010 • 1m

My bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.

Bodyguard
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January 31, 2010 • 2m

Got legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.

Baby
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January 31, 2010 • 2m

I consider getting a baby. At least I think that’s what happens. It’s been a while since I read the script.

Baby Daddy
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February 8, 2010 • 2m

Bodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.

Depressed
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March 1, 2010 • 2m

I’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.

Hangover
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March 1, 2010 • 2m

I learn never to drive drunk. Especially when driving a blimp.

Fight
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March 1, 2010 • 2m

I know to get emotional when the piano music kicks in.

Philip Seymour Hoffman
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March 13, 2010 • 2m

I get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.

Cat
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April 4, 2010 • 1m

I decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.

Back to School
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April 4, 2010 • 2m

I’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.

Extension
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April 11, 2010 • 1m

Can I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.

Paper
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April 11, 2010 • 1m

I ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.

Crush
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April 18, 2010 • 1m

It’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.

Ashleyguard
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April 18, 2010 • 2m

But Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!

Nightmare
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April 26, 2010 • 2m

Quiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!

Zac Efron
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April 29, 2010 • 2m

A date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!

Philip Seymour Hoffman 2
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May 3, 2010 • 2m

Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.

Gun
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May 3, 2010 • 2m

Do you feel lucky, Bodyguard? Are you a Luckyguard?