Luke Wilson

Cpl. "Average Joe" Bauers / "Not Sure"

Maya Rudolph

Rita

Dax Shepard

Frito Pendejo

Terry Crews

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho

Anthony 'Citric' Campos

Secretary of Defense

David Herman

Secretary of State

Sonny Castillo

Prosecutor

Kevin McAfee

Bailiff

Robert Musgrave

Sgt. Keller

Michael McCafferty

Officer Collins

Christopher Ryan

Hospital Technician

Justin Long

Dr. Lexus

Heath Jones

Cop #1

Eli Muñoz

Horny Guy

Patrick Fischler

Yuppie Husband

Darlene Hunt

Yuppie Wife

Ryan Ransdell

Trashy Guy

Melissa Sweet

Slutty Girl

Valerie Posas

New Slutty Girl

Wes Davis

Trashy Teen Jock

Andrew Wilson

Beef Supreme

Mark Tuner

Officer

Kevin Klee

Main Character (Ow! My Balls! Guy)

John Dodson

Additional Officer

Melissa Espinales

Counter Woman

Joseph Cheatham

Doctor in Waiting Room

Jason Schaefer

Prison Guard #1 / Costco Greeter

Richard Reeder

Prison Guard #2

Lawrence Castillo

Prison Guard #3

Turk Pipkin

Guy at Costco

Heather Kafka

Woman at Carl's Jr.

Christopher M. Campos

Congressman #1

Roman Ramos

Congressman #2

Randal Reeder

Secret Service Thug

Scarface

Upgrayedd

Brendan Hill

Secretary of Energy

Thomas Haden Church

Brawndo CEO

Melissa Dawn

Female Newscaster

Derek Southers

Male Newscaster

Lidia Porto

Female Reporter

Gregory Kelly

Stadium Guard

Greg Pitts

Cameraman

Jason Konopisos-Alvarez

Cop at Government Center

Mitch Baker

Doctor

Daniel Smith

Control Room Director

Chris Warner

Cop at Costco

Lonnie Nelson

Trapped Man

Danny Cochran

Secretary of Education

Marcos Martinez Rios

Secret Service Thug #2

Earl Mann

Narrator (voice)

Sara Rue

Attorney General (uncredited)

Evan Miller

Charles Chaplin (uncredited)

Heath Allyn

Prisoner (uncredited)

Erik Anderson

Angry Court Member (uncredited)

Jason Bohn

Hospital Patient (uncredited)

Glori Renee Euwer

Museum Visitor (uncredited)

Evelyn Hurley

One of Upgrayedd's Ladies (uncredited)

Tom Kenny

Computer Voice (uncredited)

Max Kruemcke

Townsperson (uncredited)

T.J. McFarland

Old Man (uncredited)

Jesse Medeles

Peterson (uncredited)

James Moreno

Front Row Juror (uncredited)

Dan Murphy

Congressman (uncredited)

Steve Powers

Townsperson (uncredited)

Stephen Root

Judge Hector "The Hangman" (uncredited)

Lainie Safady

President Camacho's Groupie (uncredited)

Ava Knighten Santana

President Camacho's Groupie (uncredited)

Kati Sharp

Townsperson (uncredited)

Michael Sorrells

Party Guest (uncredited)

Gary Teague

Townsperson (uncredited)

Curtis Wayne

Amusement Park Patron (uncredited)

Caitlin Wehrle

President Camacho's Groupie (uncredited)

Heath Young

Townsperson (uncredited)

Spencer Kayden

Miss Claypool (uncredited)

Samantha Inoue Harte

Juror (uncredited)