Mark Wahlberg

John Bennett

Mila Kunis

Lori Collins

Seth MacFarlane

Ted (voice)

Joel McHale

Rex

Giovanni Ribisi

Donny

Patrick Warburton

Guy

Matt Walsh

Thomas

Jessica Barth

Tami-Lynn

Aedin Mincks

Robert

Bill Smitrovich

Frank

Patrick Stewart

Narrator (voice)

Norah Jones

Norah Jones

Sam J. Jones

Sam Jones

Tom Skerritt

Tom Skerritt

Bretton Manley

Young John

Ralph Garman

John's Dad

Alex Borstein

John's Mom

John Viener

Alix

Laura Vandervoort

Tanya

Robert Wu

Asian Man "Ming"

Ginger Gonzaga

Gina

Jessica Stroup

Tracy

Melissa Ordway

Michelle

Max Harris

Greenbaum Kid

Zane Cowans

Kid #1 / Young Ted's Voice

T.J. Hourigan

Kid #2

Owen Clarke

Kid #3

Kristina Ellery

Heavenly

Katelyn Lorren

Cherene

Chanty Sok

Angelique

Sarah Fischer

Sauvignon Blanc

Cassie Djerf

Waitress

Joe Siriani

Guy at Table #1

Pat Shea

Guy at Table #2

Josh Duvendeck

Guy #1

Chris Cox

Guy #2

Henry Penzi

Partygoer (Ted's Buddy)

Tania Cabrera

Girl at Party

Colton Shires

Teenage John

Viera Andrea Moya

Plymouth PR Worker

Heajee Kim

Club Girl

Lydia Hannibal

Ellen

Shawn Thornton

Crazy Guy

Eric Weinstein

Stagehand

Danny Smith

Waiter

Mike Nikitas

Newscaster

Robin Hamilton

Female Newscaster

Mike Henry

Southern Newscaster

Johnny Lee Davenport

Husband

Chris Everett

Wife

Tara Charendoff-Strong

Bellybutton (voice) (uncredited)

Ted Danson

Ted Danson (uncredited)

Ryan Reynolds

Jared (uncredited)

Olivia Jordan

Party Guest (uncredited)

Alexandra Creteau

Club Patron (uncredited)

Emmalyn Anderson

Concert Attendee (uncredited)

John Franchi

Tourist / Pedestrian (uncredited)

Ronald Boone

Liberty Mechanic (uncredited)