JJ Feild

Liam Adams

Leo Gregory

Charlie Braithwaite

Kuno Becker

Santiago Muñez

Kasia Smutniak

Sophia Tardelli

Anya Lahiri

June

Nick Moran

Nick Ashworth

Christopher Fairbank

Foghorn

Mike Elliot

Gordon

Craig Heaney

Phil

Jack McBride

Walter

Tamer Hassan

Ronnie

Ori Pfeffer

Mad Film Director

John Salthouse

Newcastle Manager

Gary Lewis

Mal Braithwaite

Tereza Srbova

Katja

Margo Stilley

Tamzin Adams

Olivia Phillips

Bella

Antonia Bernath

Britt

Sam Cunningham

Helga

Mellissa Laycy

Agnetha

Erin Lister

Ani-Frid

Jakki Degg

Cute Masseuse

Anna Maria Everett

Old Masseuse

Gabrielle Richens

Marjorie

Paul McGavin

1st AD Commercial

Tia Thomas

Production assistant

Paul Humpoletz

LADA Taxi Driver

Brett Morton

Runner

Dave Sansom

Film Sound Man

Bruce Jackson

1st Assistant Director

Joemma Lavin

Hull Barmaid

Daniel Cowley

Paramedic

Rob Jones

Vicar

Phil Matthews

Sports Reporter

John Motson

Self

Matthew Waters

Reporter 1

Anna Tyler

Reporter 2

Derek Williams

Sven

Brian Newbold

Registrar

Deita Hubbard

German Barmaid 1

Kerry Shepherd

German Barmaid 2

Cliff Bradley

Irate Skoda Driver

Peter Heslop

Unhappy Driver

Russell De Rozario

Bucharest Boiler

Adam Marusiak

Footballer

Anthony Ofei

Footballer

Craig Palmer

Footballer

Dennis Sweeney

Footballer

Emeka Ejiofor

Footballer

Gareth Ellis

Footballer

Holden Ashley Stein

Footballer

Jamie Poole

Footballer

Lee White

Footballer

Leigh Clayton

Footballer

Liam Moynihan

Footballer

Matthew Thorpe

Footballer

Nathan Wint

Footballer

Neil Elson

Footballer

Oliver Jones

Footballer

Steve Madden

Footballer

Toby George Jones

Footballer

David Beckham

Self

John Terry

Self

Frank Lampard

Self

Jamie Carragher

Self

Paul Robinson

Self

Owen Hargreaves

Self

Peter Crouch

Self

Rio Ferdinand

Self

Joe Cole

Self

Gary Neville

Self

Ray Clemence

Self

Jermaine Jenas

Self

Aaron Lennon

Self

Wayne Bridge

Self

Steven Gerrard

Self

Wayne Rooney

Self

Sven-Göran Eriksson

Self

Ronaldo

Self

Hernán Crespo

Self

John Aloisi

Self

Fernando Torres

Self

Thierry Henry

Self

Filippo Inzaghi

Self

Ruud van Nistelrooy

Self

Olof Mellberg

Self

Henrik Larsson

Self

Cristiano Ronaldo

Self

Andrew Shue

(uncredited)

Peter Dale

Football Reporter (uncredited)