'Weird Al' Yankovic

George Newman

Kevin McCarthy

R.J. Fletcher

Michael Richards

Stanley Spadowski

David Bowe

Bob

Stanley Brock

Harvey Bilchik

Anthony Geary

Philo

Trinidad Silva

Raul Hernandez

Gedde Watanabe

Kuni

Billy Barty

Noodles MacIntosh

John Paragon

Richard Fletcher

Fran Drescher

Pamela Finklestein

Sue Ane Langdon

Esther Bilchik

David Proval

Head Thug

Grant James

Killer Thug

Victoria Jackson

Teri

Emo Philips

Joe Earley

Jay Levey

Gandhi

Lou B. Washington

Cameraman

Vance Colvig

Bum

Nik Hagler

FCC Man

Robert K. Weiss

Bartender

Eldon G. Hallum

Spatula Husband

Sherry Engstrom

Spatula Wife

Sara Allen

Spatula Neighbor

Bob Hungerford

Sy Greenblum

John Cadenhead

Crazy Ernie

Francis M. Carlson

Blind Man

Ivan Green

Earl Ramsey

Adam Maras

Joel Miller

Travis Knight

Billy

Joseph Witt

Little Weasel

Tony Frank

Teri's Father

Billie Lee Thrash

Teri's Mother

Barry Friedman

Fletcher Cronie #1

Kevin Roden

Fletcher Cronie #2

Lisa R. Stefanic

Phyllis Weaver

Nancy Johnson

Big Edna

Debbie Mathieu

Betty

Wilma Jeanne Cummins

Little Old Lady

Cliff Stephens

Animal Deliveyman

Jim West

Band: Guitar

Steve Jay

Band: Bass Guitar

Jon Schwartz

Band: Drums

Kim Bullard

Band: Keyboards

Barry Hansen

Whipped Cream Eater

Bob Maras

Thug #3

George Fisher

Thug #4

Tony Salome

Guide #1

Joe Restivo

Guide #2

Charles Marsh

Yodeler

Belinda Bauer

Mud Wrestler

Patrick Thomas O'Brien

Satan

Roger Callard

Conan the Librarian

Robert Frank

Timid Man

Jeff Maynard

Boy with Books

M.G. Kelly

Promo Announcer (voice)

Jay Gardner

Promo Announcer (voice)

John Harlan

Promo Announcer (voice)

Jim Rose

Promo Announcer (voice)

Brian Routh

Harry Kipper

Martin von Haselberg

Harry Kipper